"A Son is a Son 'Till He Takes a Wife..."
Kids are so much fun. They accept you at face value, and are super easy to intrigue. They always make me feel smarter, cooler, and funnier than I really am...they are real ego boosters, most of the time. I was having lunch at my kids' school last week, and was sitting across from my son, but next to one of his classmates. She was THRILLED that a grown-up was sitting next to her. Grown-ups (teachers don't count) are at a premium on an elementary school campus- they are like celebrities and exchange students- EVERYONE wants to be associated with them...that is, until the newcomer proves to be uncool...fortunately for me, I only had a 25 minute lunch span to feign coolness, and ten of those minutes were spent on the "red light", so no talking was allowed. I held it together pretty well, if I do say so myself... During one of the "green light" moments, after having eaten my chicken wings dipped in white stuff, I asked the cutie pie next to me if I had anything in my teeth. I smiled really big, and, of course (kids are acutely honest as well!), she said I did. She pointed to the infraction, and I worked to get it out. As I was maintaining my hygene, she looked at me with a air of pride, touched the tip of her tongue to the tip of a front tooth, and wiggled it back and forth. I was immediately ooged out, but as she continued to attempt to astound me with her oral flexibility, I got a tap on the shoulder from another princess behind me. I turned to look at her, and got the same show of maturation- a wiggly tooth. I thought it was precious to see the display of pride between the two girls for their dental maturity. And then I looked around and noticed that several kids- in fact, almost all of the children in my vicinity were looking at me, and silently wiggling their loose teeth. It was an epedimic of childhood metamorphosis, and the self-satisfaction felt by each of the kids was priceless! In spite of the preciousness and absolute pride of the moment, I instantly wanted to grab my son, squeeze him tightly, and quote Bono: "Baby, slow down- the end is not as far as the start...Please stay a child somewhere in your heart". In that cafeteria, I saw his life flash before my eyes, from birth to manhood, knowing that he would grow to become the essence of his name, "resolute guardian", and that someday, he would have all of his adult teeth, and would flash that dimpled smile to some captivating woman, and that he would become her resolute guardian...and then leave his mother and father and cleave to her... I was one muscular expansion away from snatching him up, taking him home and grounding him for twenty five years, but then I remembered that there's nothing cute about a thirty-year old man playing video games on his mom's couch all day, and that T.D. Jakes said that God don't like no momma's boy ; ) so I controlled my impulse and kept my cool. For his sake, of course... ; ) (ok, ok...and for the sake of my couch...) but for now...he's all mine.